In Stunning Reversal Of U.S. Policy Guantanamo Bay Shut Down; Illegal Enemy Combatant Detainees Placed Under Control Of New York City Taxi And Limousine Commission. Taxi And Limousine Commissioner Mathew W. Daus Esq. To Detainees, ‘Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here - I Mean, Have You Heard About Our Environmentally Friendly Cabs Of The Future?’
New York City Taxi & Limousine Commissioner
Mathew W. Daus Esq.
(The Esq. is for Asshole)
“A parallel shadow court system with no juries, secret witnesses, the burden of proof on the accused; these guys at the TLC have done what we couldn’t even pull off in Cuba – they’ve completely abrogated the Bill of Rights for years without anybody noticing but New York City’s cab drivers – and who cares about them? We suddenly realized that this was perfect for the detainees!”
State department officials barely able to control their glee at ‘the Guantanamo problem’ finally ending spelled out the details between deliveries from dry cleaners as they prepared for a life of being invited to consular cocktail parties again.
“Nobody outside of the New York City cab industry is even aware of what the Taxi and Limousine Commission or the ‘TLC’ is! It’s a government agency that completely runs a private industry with its own separate court system. And the way it officially treats cab drivers accused of violating any of its ‘laws’ is brutal but completely off the public radar. Its incredible! Our rendition program got more press and it was supposed to be a secret. In Mathew W. Daus Esq. we have a flat out lying Nazi sadist who the media loves and more importantly – believes! - as if the only valid concern anybody had with Dachau was the carbon footprint the ovens made! This guy is great! If anybody can make the detainees disappear down a black bureaucratic hole its him.”
“And the best thing about the TLC court system is you can bring all the lawyers you want with you because nobody listens to them there. When you’re guilty until proven innocent Alan Dershowitz can do the dance of the seven veils in front of the judge and you’re still going down!”
“You know, fuck cab drivers, but I’m actually feeling sorry for Al Qaeda.”
Taxi and Limousine Commission - link in BlogRoll
April 1st, 2008 at 10:43 am
Are you intimating that the New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission is Jim Crow revisited: Separate and nothing equal? Two comments. First, I’ve heard of no lynchings, yet; so New York Cab Drivers (so far) are a bit ahead of the game. Second, take heart; New York has two very concerned senators who are bleeding hearts when it comes to civil liberties and the rights of workers; they will not allow Obama to drive to the rescue and become “the great emancipator” of New York cab drivers. And for the Cab Driver who Came in from the Cold — at long last he seems to be warming up.
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